When My Father Suffered a Stroke, My Mother-in-Law Wanted to Send Him Away — Until I Spoke Up
Making snap judgments without understanding the full story can lead to regret. My mother-in-law learned this the hard way.
A Father’s Sacrifice
I was raised by my father after my mother left us. Determined to provide me with a good education, he moved to the city to work and support me. When I got married, he stayed nearby to save for his retirement and remain close to his family.
My husband and I have been married for seven years but couldn’t afford a house. To help us, my father sold his house in the countryside and added his savings so we could buy a comfortable home in the city. He then moved in with us, and we were happy for a while.
A Complicated Living Arrangement
Two years ago, my mother-in-law had a falling out with my husband’s younger brother over property. He wanted her to transfer 2 acres of land to him, and when she refused, he forced her out of his house. With nowhere to go, she moved in with us.
Since then, things have been tense. My mother-in-law frequently found fault with my father, criticizing him for not helping with household chores or for spending his free time drinking coffee or playing chess. She aired these grievances to my husband and neighbors, though never directly to me.
I chose to ignore it, fearing it would create unnecessary tension if my father knew.
Tragedy Strikes
Last month, my father suffered a stroke at work and was rushed to the hospital. When he was discharged, he was confined to a wheelchair, unable to walk. This change devastated him, and he even considered ending his life to avoid being a burden. My husband and I reassured him that we’d always be there to care for him.
A Selfish Suggestion
Recently, my mother-in-law suggested that my father’s sister in the countryside should care for him. She argued that her own health was poor and that taking care of the household and grandchildren left her too exhausted to manage my father’s needs as well.
I replied calmly:
“The house you’re living in is half-funded by my father’s money. It’s essentially your house, and we’ve never considered asking you to leave. Why would we send my father away?”
A Surprising Gesture
My words left my mother-in-law speechless. Later, she went to her room, returned with her purse, and handed me $8,000, saying it was her entire savings. She wanted to contribute to our household expenses to avoid being seen as a burden.
I tried to decline, telling her to keep the money for herself, but she insisted. Now, I’m unsure whether to accept her offer.
What would you do in this situation? Should I honor her wishes or continue to support her without taking her money?