AOC Receives Mysterious $70,000 Payment from GSA, No One Knows Why

Washington, D.C. – In yet another baffling government spending mystery, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has received a $70,000 payment from the General Services Administration (GSA)—and absolutely no one can explain why.

When reporters first uncovered the payment in newly released government records, the GSA, the agency responsible for managing federal property and logistics, was caught completely off guard. “We don’t even know how she got in our system,” said one confused administrator. “She doesn’t own a government building, and as far as we can tell, she hasn’t bought any office furniture worth $70,000.”

Ocasio-Cortez, known for advocating against wasteful government spending, appeared equally puzzled but not particularly concerned. “Honestly, I just saw the direct deposit and figured the government finally started making good decisions,” she said.

Speculation over the source of the payment has run wild. Some theories include:

A clerical error that redirected funds meant for Pentagon paperclips.
A top-secret “Green New Deal” reimbursement program.
A glitch in the system caused by a leftover Bernie Sanders campaign spreadsheet.

When asked if she would return the money, AOC declined to comment, but a close aide was overheard saying, “It’s already been converted into sustainable avocado farms.”

As media scrutiny mounted, the government finally issued a statement confirming absolutely nothing. Instead, a spokesperson simply muttered, “Honestly, this kind of thing happens all the time.”

But here’s the real twist: this story takes place on Earth 63.

Of course, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen here.