My in-laws recently held a secret meeting to divide a piece of land worth over 400,000 USD, and I was shocked to learn that I was excluded from the process, despite being a member of the family.

I come from a small town, just like my husband. We both moved to New York to study and build our careers. Compared to my best friend’s marriage, I always felt that mine was much smoother.

My best friend married a man from New York, and she often confided in me that she felt hurt because her in-laws looked down on her origins and background.

On the other hand, both my family and my husband’s family are from the countryside, so we got along easily. I’ve always had a good relationship with my in-laws, and I visit them regularly, about five to six times a year during holidays and festivals.

Every time I visit, I bring gifts for my father-in-law and mother-in-law—clothes, health supplements, and even special items like sneakers and workout clothes for my mother-in-law, who loves dancing. She always appreciated these gifts, saying that they were much more fashionable than what her friends wore.

My husband’s family lives over 100 miles from New York, and sometimes, they would come to visit us in the city. They would stay for four or five days, and our relationship was generally warm and friendly. I thought I had done nothing to upset my mother-in-law. While I rarely shared my personal struggles with her, I always kept her updated on happy news, and we often chatted online, which brought us closer.

I thought my relationship with my in-laws was harmonious, and I never imagined that something like this could happen.

A few months ago, my husband started making frequent trips back to his hometown, supposedly to attend family meetings. I thought these were important family matters, especially after hearing my mother-in-law mention plans to renovate the family’s ancestral home.

One weekend, I managed to find some time and suggested that I accompany him to his hometown. But he insisted that I stay in New York to avoid the hassle, so I agreed.

Then, out of the blue, I received a message from my sister-in-law, telling me that my in-laws were having a meeting to divide up their land. However, only my husband’s parents and their biological children (two sons and one daughter) were invited to the meeting. The daughters-in-law and sons-in-law were neither informed nor included. My sister-in-law, who lives in the village, had accidentally overheard some details of the meeting.

I was taken aback. My husband had never mentioned anything about this meeting. Each time he went back to the village, I assumed he was there for the renovations or some other family matter. But it turned out he was attending discussions about dividing the land, measuring plots, and preparing legal documents—and I had no idea.

When I asked him about it, he explained that he had planned to tell me about it once everything was settled. He knew I was busy with work and taking care of our child, and he didn’t think talking about it would make any difference.

Although I understood his reasoning, I felt a little hurt. After all, I’m a member of the family, and something as significant as this land division should have been communicated to me. I didn’t expect to be left out.

But the story didn’t end there. Two weeks ago, my husband hurriedly went back to the village in the middle of the week. When I asked him about it, he said he needed to go back to sign some paperwork for the land’s ownership certificate. At first, I thought we would go together to sign, but then he told me there was no need for me to come, as only his signature was required.

I was shocked. I did some research and found out that property gifted or inherited after marriage is considered separate property, not part of the joint assets. My in-laws own a considerable amount of land, especially in the town center, where the value of the land has skyrocketed due to a new highway being built. The total value of this land comes close to 400,000 USD.

My friends told me that, if I were treated this way, I should stop trying to please my in-laws and just live my life straightforwardly. They said I shouldn’t have been so devoted, especially since my husband’s family clearly didn’t appreciate me. All the care I gave to my in-laws was out of genuine affection; I never expected anything in return. But this incident made me realize something: despite all the care and respect I showed, I was still treated as an outsider by my in-laws.

It’s hard not to feel like an outsider when you’re excluded from important decisions that affect the whole family, especially when you’ve always tried to be kind and considerate.