Not accepting being humiliated by her father-in-law in front of relatives, the daughter-in-law reluctantly told the truth, making him sweat with worry.

My husband and I have a happy life, soon having our own house, two children, a boy and a girl. My life is like a dream when my husband and I have a good income, live a life of enjoyment and always fulfill our filial duties to both families. In daily life, my husband and I always support each other with housework and take care of the children. I feel lucky to have a husband who always loves his wife and children.

What is unfortunate for me is that I have a patriarchal and difficult father-in-law. Although he lives far away, he often interferes in his son’s life. The father-in-law has had a grudge against his daughter-in-law, so he always acts stern and finds excuses to bully his daughter-in-law. Not to mention, he often calls to discipline his son, demanding that he be strict and not indulge his wife.

Every time my husband’s family has something to do, I feel miserable because of my father-in-law’s difficult attitude. He makes me do many things, always showing his displeasure at my daughter-in-law’s actions, no matter how small. I am often scolded and complained by him in front of everyone… Every time I go to my husband’s house, I feel scared and want to find a way to avoid it, but I can’t.

Last weekend, my father-in-law organized a family meeting at the end of the year. It seemed like it happened every year, but this time, in front of all the relatives, my father-in-law spent a lot of time criticizing his daughter-in-law: “I criticized and warned my daughter-in-law. Last year, I rarely had the chance to go to my husband’s house, and I couldn’t do many things I asked her to do. I also discovered that my daughter-in-law lent her brother a large sum of money. Always giving gifts and taking care of her parents’ family like that is not good. If it happens again, I will ask my son to divorce me.”

Illustration photo

Facing my father-in-law’s unreasonableness, I had to explain: “I would like to clarify so that everyone can understand. The money I lent my sister was only paid back in full for a short time, and she also gave us tens of millions more. Every year when I go to my maternal grandparents’ house, the Tet gifts are not significant, not even 1/10 of what I get when I go to my paternal grandparents’ house for Tet. The money that my husband’s parents receive every month, 20 million, is my salary, I asked my husband to keep it and transfer it to my parents. If you don’t believe me, just ask my husband and you will know.”

After hearing this, my husband knew that his wife was telling the truth, so he confirmed everything. The father-in-law was sweating, clearly embarrassed, and immediately explained: “That’s just a reminder. A good daughter-in-law needs to be even better and more filial to her husband’s family. As parents, we always want our children to develop and mature, so my criticism is also for the good of our children and grandchildren. The daughter-in-law must raise her awareness of taking good care of her husband’s family.” Fortunately, at that time, my father-in-law, because he was embarrassed in front of his relatives, changed his attitude towards his daughter-in-law. From that day on, he had a normal attitude towards his daughter-in-law. He no longer called his son to probe and find fault with his daughter-in-law. I felt less worried when my husband’s relatives knew more about my heart towards my parents-in-law. But I still felt uneasy. My father-in-law could temporarily “forgive” me, but if I made any mistakes in the future, I would not be able to live peacefully with him. I understand that my father-in-law changed his attitude towards his daughter-in-law just because he was afraid of losing his monthly allowance of 20 million.

I feel that the more I indulge and be generous with my in-laws, the more they treat me coldly. What should I do to gain my father-in-law’s respect and not oppress me? Since my father-in-law threatened me in front of my husband’s relatives, should I cut off the monthly allowance for my in-laws?