Living with a domineering father-in-law can feel like an emotional and physical burden, as one woman describes her difficult year of living under the roof of her in-laws. Despite her efforts to maintain harmony, she has found herself in a constant battle with her father-in-law’s controlling behavior, which has had a significant impact on her health and emotional well-being.

The woman, who married three years ago, had a relatively stable life in the city running a small food and beverage business with her husband. However, their business venture ended in failure, and they found themselves deeply in debt, over 300 million VND in the hole. With no other option, they returned to her husband’s hometown to live with his parents.

Initially, life in the countryside seemed to be manageable, and things went well during the time her husband was home. But when her husband left to work abroad to pay off the family debts, her life took a drastic turn.

“Living with my father-in-law was like stepping into a nightmare,” she says. Although she had a good relationship with her mother-in-law, her father-in-law’s authoritarian, controlling attitude filled her with frustration. His rigid expectations and critical nature made her feel suffocated.

Each morning, at 5 a.m., regardless of her pregnancy or the fact that she was raising a young child, her father-in-law would demand that she get up to cook and clean. Even though her mother-in-law often tried to help, he would criticize her, calling her “lazy” and accusing her of wanting to appear virtuous in front of others. His harsh words left her feeling drained and afraid.

One day, when she ordered some items for her child, her father-in-law scolded her, saying, “How can you afford to buy new things when you’re buried in debt? If you’re poor, you should be getting secondhand items.” His words cut deep, and when she tried to explain herself, he became even more angry, accusing her of spreading negativity about him.

On another occasion, she purchased a high chair for her child, and her father-in-law violently kicked it across the yard. This incident marked another painful episode in her strained relationship with him. Her mother-in-law, witnessing her husband’s harsh actions, begged her daughter-in-law to stay calm, trying to prevent further conflict. But even with her mother-in-law’s support, the daughter-in-law’s frustration continued to grow.

The situation worsened when her father-in-law began criticizing her use of the electric water heater, which he considered an unnecessary expense. In an effort to save electricity, he turned off the heater whenever she used it, forcing her and her child to bathe in cold water. Her child even developed a cold, which left her feeling helpless and angry.

The straw that broke the camel’s back came when her father-in-law destroyed the water heater after another argument. At that point, she decided she could no longer endure living under such oppressive conditions and left for her parents’ house, taking her child with her.

“It’s been four days since we left, and my mother-in-law calls me every day, begging me to return,” she shared. “I care about her, but the thought of going back to live with my father-in-law terrifies me.”

The emotional and physical toll of living with her father-in-law has been overwhelming. She reveals that in the past year, she has lost 8 kilograms due to the stress and anxiety. Meanwhile, her husband, who is working overseas, has urged her to return, warning that if she refuses, he may leave everything behind to come home. However, she is unsure whether that would solve the issues at home or simply add to their financial struggles.

Living in such a toxic environment has left her feeling trapped. On one hand, she is concerned about her husband’s sacrifices and the future of their family. On the other hand, she cannot ignore the toll this toxic relationship is taking on her health and mental state.

She ends by asking, “What should I do to find peace and avoid further suffering? How can I navigate this difficult situation for the sake of my family and my own well-being?”

Her story highlights the challenges that many individuals face when living with domineering and controlling family members. It is a reminder of the importance of setting healthy boundaries and the toll that toxic relationships can take on one’s health and happiness.