Tori Spelling is getting very candid with TV icon William Shatner in a new episode of her podcast.

In the whirlwind of chaos, unexpected news, bizarre scandals and generally surreal vibe that this year has already cultivated, it’s safe to say that no one had “Tori Spelling explains OnlyFans to William Shatner” on their 2024 bingo card — and that was before they got into a lengthy conversation about the fun of having orgasms and finding the joy in adventurous sexual positions.

Fair warning — as if it were needed — Spelling’s candid and unabashed conversation with the Star Trek legend, during a new episode of her misSPELLING podcast is very NSFW.

Early on in their chat, Spelling got into the details of how she and her estranged husband, Dean McDermott, are going through a divorce, and she’s worried how she’s going to affording to send their kids to college in the future.

She and McDermott share five children — Liam, 17, Stella, 16, Hattie 12, Finn, 11, and Beau 7 — and some are very nearly college age.

Tori Spelling and four of her kids — Stella, Finn, Beau and Hattie, attend the KIIS FM’s iHeartRadio Jingle Ball 2023 on Dec. 1 in Inglewood, California. – Steve Granitz/FilmMagic
“I’m going to have to go on OnlyFans in order to get them into college,” Spelling said, to Shatner’s confusion. “Do you know OnlyFans? So, how do you describe OnlyFans? It’s a site. I guess originally it was more women in the field — not sex workers, but along those lines, but now actresses do it?”

“But OnlyFans transformed and now there’s comedians on, there’s chefs on, and it’s videos and people pay, you can subscribe,” Spelling continued, before getting to the crux of the matter. “But if you’re on in a bikini, or something revealing, if people subscribe and pay more they can get a shot of you with your breasts showing, or something.”

While Shatner seemed more perplexed by the actual function of how to pay for things over the internet than the concept of people being naked for money, the conversation got raunchier later in the chat, when they eventually got onto the topic of constipation — to which Shatner suggested using an enema.

A semi-sheepish Spelling admitted that she’s used enemas in the past, but only “before anal sex.”

“Listen to me, I’m going to ask you an intimate question and if you don’t feel like answering, this is your show, but what pleasure is there in anal sex?” Shatner asked.

“I love it,” Spelling replied, laughing. “I mean, I haven’t done it a lot! Now, I’m getting a divorce, so with the right human… I actually enjoy it.”

It was at this point in the conversation when it might have been helpful to have a medical expert or sex therapist on hand to answer some questions, as Shatner and Spelling began delving into whether or not there are “nerve endings down there” and how “the anatomy of a female” are confusing and mysterious.

Then they both forgot the word “perineum” for several minutes until Shatner just moved on to the next question — whether or not she “can you orgasm” from anal sex.

For the record, Spelling doesn’t seem to really remember. Also, she says she fakes orgasms during sex and then claims there are multiple “types of orgasms.” Shatner disagrees, and sadly there is no sex therapist or medical expert standing by to assist with any of these age-old debates.
William Shatner was unmasked as The Knight on the Season 8 premiere of ‘The Masked Singer.’ – FOX via Getty Images

The sprawling conversation then leads to a conversation about porn, in which Spelling says she doesn’t watch pornography — not because she’s opposed to it, but “because I typically have five kids around me at all times.”

“Oh, yeah, that does make a difference,” Shatner admitted with a laugh.

But don’t worry, if you were concerned that the screen legend wasn’t going to ask her whether or not she masturbates vaginally or clitorally — you need not worry. (For the record, it’s the latter.)

Then, just to sort of put a button on the whole conversation, Shatner explained that, when it comes to anal sex — “either giving or getting” —  it simply “never occurred to me to do any of that.”

“This is going to go down as one of the weird [conversations]– this may be historic,” Shatner added, correctly.