Waking My Husband for Help in the Middle of the Night Left Me Stunned and Heartbroken
I never imagined that asking my husband for help would leave me feeling so broken. What I experienced that night shook me to my core and made me question everything about our relationship.
From the beginning, my marriage felt like a partnership. When I became pregnant with twins, my husband insisted that I quit my teaching job to focus on my health and our children. It was a difficult decision since I had worked so hard to secure a permanent position as a teacher, but he was persistent. He assured me that he would fully support me financially and emotionally, and when the children were older, I could return to teaching at private learning centers. His family echoed his sentiments, and eventually, I gave in and resigned.
At first, life seemed manageable. My husband was attentive, providing me with his full paycheck and even helping with chores when he returned from work. Those early months gave me hope that I had made the right choice. But it didn’t last.
Within three months, the cracks began to show. He started coming home irritable, complaining about work stress, and grumbling whenever I asked for money to buy household necessities. Sensing his frustration, I stopped asking for funds as often, instead dipping into my own savings to cover what we needed.
When the twins were born, things got even harder. The delivery was traumatic—complications left me battling severe blood loss, and I barely survived. Recovering was excruciating, and my husband used my fragile state as further justification for why quitting my job had been the “right decision.”
For the first month postpartum, my mother-in-law stayed to help care for me and the babies. But once that month was up, she returned to her hometown to help my sister-in-law, leaving me entirely on my own. My mother, who lives far away, was heartbroken that she couldn’t step in. Alone with two newborns, I was overwhelmed.
When I tried to share my struggles with my husband, he dismissed me, saying, “All you do is stay home. What’s so hard about taking care of kids?” His words stung, but it was his actions that truly broke me. Each night, he took a pillow and blanket and retreated to the couch, leaving me to handle every midnight feeding, every diaper change, and every moment of crying on my own.
Money became another point of contention. When I asked for cash to buy baby essentials like diapers or formula, he would hand me just enough to cover the basics, nothing more. When I needed a breast pump after struggling with blocked ducts, he exploded in anger, accusing me of being wasteful.
Last night was the tipping point. Both of our children developed fevers. I was already exhausted from juggling their care, but when I noticed their temperatures rising, I panicked. I gently shook my husband awake, asking him to help by preparing fever medicine while I attended to the babies.
His response left me speechless. He grabbed a used diaper I had just changed and threw it at me, yelling, “Get out of my face! I’m tired of dealing with you and those kids!”
The humiliation and anger were unbearable. I carried the crying babies back to their room, set them down, and left them briefly as I prepared their medicine. Tears streamed down my face, but I forced myself to keep going.
This morning, I called my older brother and confided everything. He was silent for a moment before finally saying, “Leave him. Come home. We’ll take care of you and the kids.” His words were a lifeline, but they also filled me with dread.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t bear the thought of raising my children in such a toxic environment, but I also fear becoming a burden on my brother’s family. How do I navigate this? Is leaving my husband truly the right choice? Or is there another way to salvage what’s left of this marriage?
4o
