An 8-Year-Old’s Disturbing Act Towards Her 5-Month-Old Brother When Her Mother Left the House: A Heartbreaking Story and a Warning to Parents

I am a mother of two children: my youngest is just 5 months old, and my older daughter, Linh, is in second grade. With a young child at home, everything is turned upside down. From early morning to late at night, I am constantly busy breastfeeding, changing diapers, and soothing the baby when he cries. My older daughter, Linh, who used to be a lively and sweet child, is often asked by me to take care of her brother. But since the birth of her younger sibling, Linh seems to feel that something has changed, and I, caught up in taking care of the baby, didn’t realize it.

In recent days, I have often gotten angry whenever Linh made the baby cry. Once, Linh tried to soothe him, but since she didn’t know how, she ended up making him even more uncomfortable, causing him to cry louder. Exhausted from everything, I couldn’t control my frustration and scolded her, saying: “You can’t even take care of your brother! It’s your fault he’s crying!” My words, though unintended, deeply hurt Linh, and she began to distance herself from me. At that moment, I just thought I was too tired to explain or comfort her.

Then one day, a tragic incident occurred, and I still deeply regret it. That day, I needed to go out and buy some supplies for the baby. Before I left, I asked Linh to watch her brother. The porridge I had cooked for the baby was almost boiling on the stove, and I thought I would be back before it was fully done. But I was wrong.

While watching her brother, perhaps overwhelmed by frustration and hurt, Linh carried him close to the pot of porridge, crying and saying: “It’s because of you that I’m suffering. I wish you’d get burned!” In a moment of lost control, the little girl did something I never expected—she dipped her brother’s hand into the hot porridge, even though he screamed in pain.

Fortunately, a neighbor heard the baby’s cries and rushed over just in time. Thanks to them, my son only suffered a minor burn, and it wasn’t life-threatening. When I got home and reviewed the family camera footage, seeing everything unfold in front of me nearly broke me. Seeing Linh’s fearful and withdrawn expression, I realized that my daughter had been carrying so much emotional pain, and I, as her mother, was the main cause of it.

For the past period, both Linh and I had been exhausted. I realized that I had wronged her in many ways.

That evening, as I sat beside Linh, I tried to talk to her. But she was silent, her eyes full of worry and fear. I understood that, in addition to caring for the baby, I needed to heal the emotional wounds in Linh’s heart. I decided to take her to see a psychologist.

Through the conversation with the psychologist, I began to understand more clearly what Linh had been going through. She felt abandoned, as though I no longer loved her the way I used to. From being a child who received all my attention, Linh was suddenly expected to grow up and share the love that was once all hers. The scolding and pressure to “watch the baby” made her feel useless and pushed aside.

I realized that, during all this time, I had unintentionally forgotten my role with Linh. I had focused all my attention on the baby, not realizing that Linh still needed love, care, and attention just as before. Her feelings of jealousy, anger, and abandonment were completely understandable. It wasn’t her fault; it was mine, as a mother who wasn’t sensitive enough to notice the changes in my older daughter’s emotional state.

Since that day, I began to change. I started spending more time alone with Linh, playing with her, listening to her stories, and explaining to her that I love both her and the baby equally. I told Linh: “I love you and the baby the same way. The baby is smaller and needs more care, but that doesn’t mean I love him more than you.” These words seemed to help Linh begin to release the frustrations she had been holding inside.

I also began to create opportunities for Linh to feel like a strong and reliable older sister. I stopped giving her heavy responsibilities and instead praised her whenever she helped with small tasks like getting a towel or changing the baby’s diaper. The encouragement and praise helped Linh feel valued and recognized.

With the support from the psychologist and the changes in my parenting style, I began to see Linh gradually return to being the joyful, affectionate girl she once was. The baby also became more attached to her, and I know that this change is the first step in healing our family’s emotional bond.

From my own experience, I want to offer heartfelt advice to mothers with two children: Don’t forget your older child while caring for the baby. Children, at any age, need love and attention. The arrival of a new family member is not only a big change for parents but also a challenge for the older child, who must learn to share the love they once received all to themselves.

Spend quality time with your older child: Create moments that are just for you and your older child, so they feel that they still have a special place in your heart.
Listen and empathize: Older children might feel jealous or sad when they see you focusing on the baby. Instead of scolding, listen to them and share their feelings.
Encourage bonding: Create opportunities for the older child to take care of the baby in a gentle and enjoyable way, like singing or playing with the baby, rather than giving them heavy responsibilities.
Praise and encourage: Every compliment helps the older child feel important and confident in their role in the family.

Having a second child is a new and exciting journey, but it also comes with challenges. Love both your children equally and sensitively, so the family bond remains strong and provides a solid foundation for healthy, happy development.